Do I really deserve to be lied to like that? Really? Am I really that worthless that I deserve a lie when all I do is try to care?
Really?
Am I that worthless?

I fit into my dresses from 8th grade!
Yes!

Is it bad that I really like the way I look in my school sweatpants and a tank top…

I’m kind of a terrible person.

1. She’s got style.
2. She listens to my bullshit.
3. She helps me.
4. She protects me.
5. She has the same fashion sense as I do.
6. She’s good at fangirling.
7. She listens to my fangirling.
8. She is a great best friend.
9. Even if she gets mad at me, she still loves me.
10. I believe she is one of the few people who truly cares about me.
11. She makes me cupcakes.
12. When I’m at her house, she gets me stuff.
13. She doesn’t question all of my weird actions, she goes with them.
14. She’s a giggler.
15. She knows her opinion and is educated about it but will listen to others.
16. She’s a fantastic artist.
17. She has really good ideas.
18. She’s kind of really very adorable.
19. She thinks Ash and Syn are as sexy as I think they are.
20. She talks about sexual things with me.
21. She still talks to me even when I’m boring.
22. She can be outgoing.
23. She likes cute clothes.
24. She’s good at making mixed CDs.
25. She remembers I hate nuts.
26. She buys me stuff when she’s feeling sweet.
27. She gives good hugs.
28. When she loves, she really does love.
29. She’s my best friend.
30. She’s straight and I’m straight but we act a little gay and she’s okay with that.
31. She gives me surprise hugs.
32. She makes me extremely happy.
33. She kinda just gets me.
34. She takes care of me.
35. She wants me to be happy.
36. She sometimes says I’m pretty.
37. She doesn’t lie to me.
38. She respects me and my opinions.
39. When we differ, she doesn’t fight me on it unless I’m being stupid.
40. She talks to me about anything.
41. If I’m having a hard day, she talks to me about it even when she is having a good day and might not want to.
42. She is as indecisive as I am.
43. She lets me talk about Bill Kaulitz incessantly.
44. She cracks me up.
45. She is a really bright light in an extremely dark tunnel.
46. She’s a good writer.
47. She lets me hold her hand.
48. She cuddles with me while we watch TV in our pajamas all day.
49. She talks to me every single day without fail.
50. She is willing to call me her best friend in front of others.
51. She’s silly.
52. She’s open to new experiences.
53. She has an exquisite taste in music.
54. She takes me to Tahoe.
55. Sometimes she does my hair.
56. She likes to listen to me talk.
57. She has a fantastic smile that makes me smile.
58. She can get excited about things and it’s really cute.
59. I’ve never had to cry in front of her.
60. She’s not afraid to tell me what’s what.
61. She’s good with the reality of things.
62. Her eyes.
63. She tells great stories.
64. She’s not fake.
65. She’s a nice person and a good kid.
66. She lets me teach her stupid things.
67. She deals with my extreme stubbornness and rudeness.
68. She’s got a great sense of humor.
69. She learns from her experiences.
70. She’s open to change.
71. She’s my emotional rock, but she can still fall apart, which means she has feelings and she’s real.
72. She answers the dumb questions I make up.
73. She lets me do what I do and laughs more with me than at me even when she is laughing at me.
74. She doesn’t embarrass me.
75. She respects animals.
76. She knows what she wants.
77. She has the ability to turn a boring conversation into an interesting one.
78. She’s gorgeous inside and out.
79. She’s cozy.
80. She likes the sun.
81. She complains but it’s not annoying, it’s indecisively cute.
82. She takes great pictures.
83. She’s a beautiful person inside.
84. She’s strong.
85. She’s a good role model.
86. She doesn’t change for other people.
87. She’s really sweet.
88. She puts the time and effort into the people that she thinks deserves her time and effort.
89. She smells really good.
90. She keeps my secrets.
91. She ignores my lack of judgement at times.
92. She deals with my smart-assery.
93. She has good comebacks.
94. She’s smart.
95. She has good taste in guys.
96. We can agree on hotness levels of other girls.
97. She’s my little dork.
98. She’s independent and knows what she wants.
99. She doesn’t expect too much of me.
100. She is absolutely perfect to me.

I really just want to be skinny

I know I’ve lost 17 pounds. But I guess I’m not seeing it. I still feel obese, like I’m failing… will I ever not feel like that?  

Something in me has always wondered if the Kaulitz twins actually have chest hair or if it doesn’t exist or if they do a really good job getting rid of it like they used to do with their beards
But no one tell them I said that
I didn’t say that
Shhhhhhh

Do you ever feel like you’re worthless and not good enough for anyone around you? Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve the things you have and feel guilty for being sad? Do you ever feel bad for the way you feel because you’re just not happy? Do you ever feel like you’ll never be good enough? Me too. All the time.

I don’t fangirl over 1D or Adele or Lady Gaga or anything like that but it’s not that I don’t like them! I like their music.. I’m just not into it like other people! And I’m not into doing that i guess….
Makes me feel like a loser though….

I’m so sick and tired of being fat…
And when I though it was doing well I gained weight.
I hate myself.
I hate this.
I’m worthless and annoying and fat.
I

Watching that Lizzie McGuire episode called Inner Beauty.

It makes me think of Sammy because it’s her favorite episode. So I got inspired and I decided that I wanted to talk about Sammy.

Sometimes it makes me quite emotional to talk about her. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone I’ve never met, just known over the internet. (But we all know how much you can)

I don’t know if she knows this, but I’m really thankful for her. If I ever lost her, I might die. She deals with me when I’m self conscious or depressed and she makes me feel better. She lets me bitch and she lets me be at my worst and doesn’t leave me, or yell at me. She lets me say the things I really feel. All those things I feel guilty about telling some people. She lets me say the worst things I possibly feel. Whether it’s about my weight, or loneliness, or whatever it may be, she deals with it. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sammy. 

She has also taught me a lot. Through all her struggles and all of her pain, she has taught me a lot. I don’t know what I’ve done for her, or what exactly I’m useful for but… I love her anyway.

I don’t think she will ever know how much she means to me. I’ll never be able to tell her everything she’s done for me.

But I just want to tell her this: Stay strong. I know how hard it can be. But look how far you’ve gotten, love. Don’t give up now, or I’ll have to give up, too.

I love you.No matter how annoyed or stubborn or mad I can get, I always will.

ilysmlhahdfabimysm.

Uh be-fucking-lievable!
Ughh this weekend has just been crap and so I guess it’s good I have therapy tomorrow, right? That’s what I thought.
Wrong.
It’s like I can’t win! My parents get all upset when I’m moody and depressed but then I start getting help and then they complain about how it costs so much! Like I’m sorry but make me go or don’t!
And now I feel guilty.
I hate this. I haven’t felt like this in a while.
It’s all my fault.

:D
SW: 172
CW: 155 

Yay! :DD